Meaning of Ethical Non-Monogamy in Relationships
ENM is an abbreviation for ethical non-monogamy or ethically
non-monogamous. This umbrella term encompasses a wide range of non-traditional
relationship structures in which people have multiple romantic partners. Learn
more about what distinguishes these types of consensual non-monogamy to
determine if they are appropriate for you and your partner or partners.
What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)?
Ethical non-monogamy refers to any relationship dynamic in
which partners agree to pursue s*xual and romantic relationships with multiple
people.
While monogamous people only have one serious relationship
at a time, non-monogamous or polyamorous people see no reason to limit their
options in this way. They also do so with the knowledge and consent of any
current partners. These kinds of arrangements have become more common in recent
years.
The primary goal of ethically non-monogamous relationships
is to form a strong sexual or emotional connection with multiple people. This
can manifest in a variety of different relationship dynamics.
People may share partners at times, but they may also keep
their various relationships separate at other times. Some people prefer casual
s*x, while others hope to form a lasting throuple, quadruple, or polycule.
Is Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) Cheating?
It's a common misconception that ethical non-monogamy
equates to cheating. Those in these kinds of relationships are put off by the
comparison. After all, cheating necessitates a breach of trust, which breeds
jealousy and a sense of betrayal. All romantic and s*xual partners in all forms
of ethical non-monogamy are aware of one another and are eager to pursue
multiple relationships or engage in s*xual encounters together.
5 Types of Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)
Intimate relationships can take a variety of forms. If
you're thinking about starting your own partnership, here are a few
non-monogamous relationship styles to consider:
1. Monogamish: Some people prefer to be mostly
monogamous with the option of having occasional extramarital affairs. In such a
situation, both people remain loyal to their primary partner and must obtain
consent if they wish to engage in a night of casual s*x or dating outside of
the relationship. Monogamous people may temporarily bring others into their
mutual relationship (as in the case of a threesome).
2. Open relationships: Consider an open relationship if
you and your partner are content with your romantic relationship but want to
spice up your s*x life. While some of these arrangements emphasize emotional
connections, many prioritize s*xual experimentation with like-minded partners
outside of the primary relationship.
3. Polyamory: While this umbrella term can refer to all
ethically non-monogamous relationships, it also refers to a specific type of
relationship in which all partners have a s*xual and emotional relationship
with one another. To avoid confusion, some call this arrangement polyfidelity.
Keep in mind that polygamy and polyamory are not the same thing. The former
denotes having multiple spouses, whereas the latter denotes having multiple
relationships.
4. Relationship anarchy: Consider relationship anarchy
if you're less interested in a polysecure approach. This arrangement, perhaps
the most open of all open relationships, completely disregards the concept of
secondary or primary relationships. People who take this approach believe that
labels are unnecessary when it comes to love and s*x.
5. Swinging: Some otherwise monogamous couples engage in swinging,
or swapping s*xual partners on a regular basis. When it comes to sharing
partners, swingers are more relaxed than their polyamorous counterparts. They
see it as a recreational activity rather than an extramarital relationship.
Tips to Practice Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)
Ethical non-monogamy necessitates a high level of
self-awareness, integrity, and openness. Follow these guidelines to ensure the
success of your ethical non-monogamous relationship:
Be truthful. In ENM relationships, open communication and
honesty are essential. Make sure your current partner is on board before you
begin experimenting with new relationship models. If you find yourself
withholding information from or lying to your partner or partners, you've
crossed the line into unethical behavior. Everyone must always be on the same
page.
Check in with each other. Exploring new relationship
dynamics can elicit a range of emotions in people. Regular check-ins allow you
to better understand how everyone is feeling. The goal is to have fun forming
new romantic and s*xual relationships with new people. When you keep each other
updated on a regular basis, you ensure that everyone is satisfied with the
current situation.
Inform yourself. Before you use a dating app to find new
partners, do some research. Listen to podcasts or read articles about what
makes a non-monogamous relationship ethical. Consult a s*x educator or
therapist to make sure you're putting your best foot forward.
Keep things fluid. Sometimes ethically non-monogamous relationships
reveal insecurities that you or your partner or partners were unaware of. It's
okay if you thought you were ready for a certain type of relationship and then
realized it wasn't for you. Make everyone's emotional and mental health a
priority, including your own, and be prepared to shift gears if necessary.
Keep yourself safe. Maintain your s*xual health and wellness
in any type of relationship, whether monogamous or non-monogamous. Use
protection, especially with new partners, to avoid the spread of STIs, unwanted
pregnancies, and other negative outcomes.